How to use lubricant during sex: A simple beginner’s guide

Lubricant During Sex: Talking about lube can feel awkward at first, but using it is one of the simplest ways to make sex more comfortable, more pleasurable, and less likely to irritate. Whether you’re with a partner or on your own, lube is not a “last resort.” It’s a normal part of good sex.

What is lube?

Lube (lubricant) is a slippery liquid or gel designed to reduce friction during sexual activity. Your body often produces natural lubrication with arousal, but it isn’t always enough, and that can happen for many normal reasons: stress, dehydration, hormones, medications, postpartum changes, perimenopause/menopause, or simply the pace of the moment.

Also Read | Consent, comfort & communication: Healthy sex tips for couples

Needing lube doesn’t mean something is “wrong.” It just means you’re choosing comfort.

What does lube help with?

Lube can:

• ease dryness, even when you feel turned on
• reduce burning, tugging, or discomfort
• lower the chance of tiny tears and irritation
• make condoms feel smoother and more comfortable
• improve pleasure by letting things glide instead of drag
• be especially helpful during hormonal changes (including menopause)

Where can you apply lube?

You can use lube in a few places depending on what you’re doing:

• On genitals (yours, your partner’s, or both)
• At the vaginal opening and/or a little inside the vagina
• On condoms (outside the condom; some people also add a tiny drop inside the tip—only a small amount to avoid slippage)
• On sex toys (helps comfort + protects sensitive skin from friction)
• For the hands during manual stimulation

Rule of thumb: anywhere friction could feel rough, lube helps.

How much lube should you use?

There’s no perfect amount. A good approach is:

• Start with a small amount (a coin-sized drop).
• Spread it with your fingers.
• Add more if anything starts to feel sticky, dry, or uncomfortable.
• It’s easier to add than to deal with too much at once.

Tips to use lube comfortably:

Warm it first: Rub it between your fingers for a few seconds so it doesn’t feel cold.

Make it part of the moment: You don’t have to stop everything; apply it slowly, like a normal part of foreplay.

Reapply when needed: If things start to feel draggy, that’s your cue.

Types of lube:

Water-based lube:

• easy to clean
• safe with condoms and most toys
• may dry out faster (reapply if needed)

Silicone-based lube:

• longer-lasting, stays slippery
• Great if water-based dries too quickly
• usually safe with condoms
• may not be ideal with some silicone toys

Oil-based lube:

• good for massage
• not safe with latex condoms (can weaken them)
• can be harder to clean and may irritate some people
• If you’re using condoms or toys, checking compatibility is worth it.

Also Read | What causes white discharge during or after sex?

Lube is a comfort tool, not a confidence issue. If you want sex to feel smoother and easier on the body, lube is one of the best additions you can make: simple, normal, and genuinely helpful.

FAQs: How to Use Lube for Better Sex