Ageing and sex: Let’s talk about something people don’t talk about enough. Sex in your 50s and 60s. It doesn’t suddenly disappear just because you hit a certain number. Sure, it changes, but change isn’t always bad. In fact, it can get better. More relaxed. More real.
Here are some of the questions that come up most often, and some honest answers.
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Is it normal for my sex drive to change?
Absolutely. Hormones shift, bodies evolve, and so do priorities. Some people notice a dip, others don’t. Men might deal with lower testosterone levels. Women often experience dryness or discomfort after menopause. But a lower sex drive doesn’t mean no sex life. It might just look different. Less about frequency, more about connection.
Why does it take longer to get aroused?
Because your body’s not 25 anymore. Blood flow slows a bit, sensitivity changes, and life gets busier. The good news? You can work with it. Take your time. Add some intention. A slower pace can actually make intimacy richer.
Is it safe to have sex at this age?
Unless your doctor says otherwise, yes. Your heart won’t explode because you had a good time. The bigger issue is often flexibility or stamina, not danger. Still, if you have heart problems or other conditions, get medical advice first. It’s better to check than worry mid-moment.
Do I still need protection?
Yes, yes, yes. Pregnancy might be off the table, but sexually transmitted infections aren’t. Condoms and regular testing still matter, especially if you’re dating again. STIs don’t care about age.
What if my partner and I want different things?
That happens at any age. Maybe one person’s libido dropped, maybe the other’s increased. The fix isn’t always in the bedroom. It’s in the conversation before you get there. Be honest without blaming. Sometimes it’s about stress, medication, or just how you feel about your body. It’s not selfish to want intimacy; it’s human.
How can I make sex more comfortable?
Lubrication helps. So does communication. If something hurts, say so. A good gynaecologist or urologist can help more than a Google search ever could. And remember, intimacy isn’t limited to intercourse. Touch, closeness, humour, all of that counts.
Is it weird that I’m enjoying sex more now?
Not at all. In fact, that’s more common than people think. With age comes confidence. You know what you like and what you don’t. You’re less worried about “performance” and more focused on pleasure. That kind of freedom changes everything.
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The truth? Sex in your 50s and 60s isn’t about chasing youth. It’s about comfort in your own skin. It’s about connection, curiosity, and maybe a little laughter when knees creak or glasses fog up. That’s not the end of passion; it’s just a different version of it.
FAQs: Sex in Your 50s and 60s
Is it normal for sex drive to decrease in your 50s and 60s?
Yes, it is completely normal for the sex drive to change with age. Hormonal shifts, stress, health conditions, and medications can all affect libido. A lower sex drive does not mean your sex life is over; it may simply mean your needs and pace have changed.
Can menopause affect sex and intimacy?
Yes. Menopause can cause vaginal dryness, discomfort during sex, and changes in desire due to lower estrogen levels. The good news is that lubricants, vaginal moisturisers, and medical guidance can make intimacy much more comfortable and enjoyable.
Do older adults still need protection during sex?
Yes. Even if pregnancy is no longer a concern, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can still spread at any age. Condoms and regular STI testing are important, especially for people who are dating again or have new partners.
Does intimacy only mean intercourse?
Not at all. Intimacy can include touch, cuddling, kissing, massage, emotional closeness, laughter, and affection. A fulfilling intimate life is much broader than intercourse alone, especially as bodies and needs change over time.
When should I talk to a doctor about changes in my sex life?
You should speak to a doctor if you have persistent pain, sudden loss of desire, erectile difficulties, dryness, anxiety around intimacy, or any change that is affecting your relationship or wellbeing. Many causes are common and treatable, and getting help can make a big difference.
